Music and Cats

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.  ~Albert Schweitzer

I am sometimes astonished by the power of music to lift my spirits. The right music, of course. John Fogerty, for example, or Professor Longhair. Just TRY to listen to the Professor’s “Crawfish Fiesta” and not smile. I really don’t believe anyone can do it.

And cats…well, watching my cat stretch and roll on her back on the sun-drenched deck makes me want to be in that same state of mind. It’s really about being present in the moment, because she is quite alert and apprehensive when a deer walks into the yard.

I think Schweitzer did pretty well with these choices, although I might add one or two things.  What serves for you as “a refuge from the miseries of life?”

Lasting

To be somebody you must last.  ~Ruth Gordon

I got this quote out of the little book of Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much. The daily meditation that accompanies it is about perseverance, but I prefer to think that Ruth Gordon was talking about living a long life. It is only recently that I have had the thought that I want to live a long time. I think because it is only recently that I have really learned how to live.

When I was young, I assumed I would die young–I’m sure it was part of my overly dramatized depressive persona. Later, I just feared I would die young. Now I want to be a feisty, or at least spirited, old woman who says exactly what she thinks, does what she pleases (which will certainly involve learning), and laughs a lot.

Michelle Shocked sings, “When I grow up I wanna be an old woman,” and that seems about right. Meanwhile, I’ll keep in mind what Ruth Gordon says and try to last.

Flying

Wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.  ~Toni Morrison

Birds and flying figured in all the poems I wrote for several years. I used to dream about plane crashes regularly. And I carried excess weight in my body, even though I am not a naturally heavy person. Perhaps these things are related.

Now I feel lighter, literally and figuratively. What are the things I have let go? The over-reliance on the opinions of others; unnecessary striving when waiting would do; and struggling to live each day without the understanding that the day will be what it is, with or without that struggling.

What is the shit that weighs you down? What could you jettison that would allow you to fly?

Expectations

My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance and in inverse proportion to my expectations.  ~Michael J. Fox

I have missed blogging the past few days! It has become a habit, a practice, that helps ground me. In one 48-hour period this week, I drove 600 miles, or about 9 hours, for a 7-hour meeting. That just seems crazier than ever to me. Not to  mention the impact on the environment of that kind of living. I want to work toward a quieter, simpler life. I don’t mean to fight with the life I have, but as I said to David this week, I’m learning to completely let go of attachment to the outcome (expectations), while moving in what I think is a good and right direction.

I don’t think much about expectations these days. I am much more focused on day-to-day intention, action, reflection on what is (acceptance). And that is radical and wonderful. More and more of being here now, and less and less of dwelling on past mistakes or future possibilities, is liberating and exhilirating. What can I do in this moment to express my values, tune in to the rhythms of nature, be one with all, and honor the gift that is my “one wild and precious life”?*

Who am I really in this moment? It doesn’t matter who I have been, who I will be, who others think I am. What matters is living authentically now. And beginning again (and again, and again…). So…your turn: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do / with your one wild and precious life?”*

*from Mary Oliver’s extraordinary poem, “The Summer Day”

Sweet Forgiveness

When you get down to it, Lily, that’s the only purpose grand enough for a human life–not just to love, but to persist in love.  ~August, in The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd

Sweet forgiveness, dear God above
I say we all deserve
A taste of this kind of love
Someone who’ll hold our hand
And whisper: ‘I understand,
And I still love you.’
~Iris DeMent

Write the wrongs that are done to you in sand,  but write the good things that happen to you on a piece of marble. Let go of all emotions, such as resentment and retaliation, which diminish you, and hold onto the emotions, such as joy and gratitude, which increase you.  ~Arabic proverb

I finally read The Secret Life of Bees, which has been on my reading list for some time now. It’s a good story, and I enjoyed the singular voice of the protagonist and narrator, Lily. I found the themes echoing around my head and heart afterwards–love, empathy, parenting, faith, acceptance, forgiveness.

Forgiveness is sweet on the receiving end, as Iris DeMent poignantly sings, but it is also one of those things that benefits the giver as much as (often more than) the receiver. There is nothing more stunting to our growth than holding a grudge, nursing a hurt, or keeping account of times we’ve been wronged. But so many are unable to “persist in love” in that way. And so we have war, and conflict, and separation from one another.

I think our ability to forgive others, as in Lily’s case, is in part dependent upon our ability to forgive ourselves. Setting high standards for ourselves gives us something to strive toward, but can be a trap for self-denial as well. I am getting better at forgiving myself for all the stupid, thoughtless, unkind, and self-destructive things I’ve done. I want to be completely free to forgive and feel compassion for all.

Do you give yourself the benefit of the doubt as often as you give it to others? Can you think about failures or mistakes you’ve made in the past without a trace of angst?

The Irrepressible Twain

All  you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.  ~Mark Twain

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it–and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again–and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.  ~Mark Twain

Sam and I often talk about how difficult Mark Twain is to quote from memory. Something about his language is convoluted–the first one above is relatively easy, but just try memorizing that second quote! But what a great idea that I have never heard expressed elsewhere.

 Of course, one of my favorite Twain quotes is “Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest.” And then there’s “Golf is a good walk spoiled.” (I couldn’t agree more.) And another runner-up: “Why not go out on a limb? That’s where the fruit is.”

I am grateful for humorists. Just today I checked out a Dave Barry audiobook, and was talking to someone about my affinity for Steven Wright. The great thing about Mark Twain is how much wisdom was contained in his humor. I think of him as irrepressible, irascible, irreplaceable.

Who’s your favorite funny person?

Development

Undoubtedly, we become what we envisage.  ~Claude M. Bristol

I think this is true as far as it goes. I posted a quote attributed to the Buddha that expresses a similar idea. But there is something to the idea of developmental learning that I think all teachers should understand. Until the student is ready, nothing can happen.

Years ago, I knew in my head (logically, intellectually) many of the lessons I have only integrated in the last few months. I had to be developmentally ready to absorb and use them. How interesting that process is! I could have “envisaged” any number of things back then (and did), but it wasn’t until much later I could actually become them.

I think curiosity is becoming my best friend as I look toward old age. I am so grateful to be where I am, to have come this far, and to feel curious about the rest of the journey! What are you developmentally ready to learn?

Slowing Down?

You ask me how I can remain calm and not become upset when those around me are all bustling about. What can I say to you? I did not come into the world to agitate it. Is it not sufficiently agitated already?  ~St. Francois de Sales

My day yesterday started out to be relatively peaceful (one 3-hour meeting in a town 2 hours away), even though I forgot my intention to slow down for Slow Down Week.  Then I remembered (around 7:30 p.m.) that I had a weekly online chat from 8 to 10 p.m. for the class I am taking from FSU. My normal bedtime is between 9 and 9:30, since on the days I commute to Atlanta (like today), I get up at 4. And of course, at 10 p.m., following my class, I was wound up and had to spend at least a half hour unwinding before sleep.  Incidentally, my favorite way to do that is New York Times Sunday Crosswords.

Today consisted of one meeting after another–after my 1.5-hour commute, I did manage to have 7 to 8:30 a.m. to unpack my bag, clean out my inbox, and check my e-mail, but then the meetings began: one from 8:30 to 9, one from 9 to 10, one from 10:30 to 11, one from 11 to 2 (which went until 2:30) and one from 2:30 to 3:00 (my normal quitting time). Only at the end of the day did I remember it is Slow Down Week!

Now I am sipping red wine in honor of the week (a good excuse, don’t you think?) instead of walking on the treadmill (isn’t there something weird about that activity?) I used to go to a gym, where at some point I was really struck by all the simulations of natural activity–pretending to row, pretending to walk, pretending to bicycle. How bizarre.

I have another chance to observe this special week tomorrow–I am working from home, which means I can sleep an extra two hours. I’ll bet I can be more mindful, not cause much ‘agitation,’ and actually be more productive and centered.  So, tell me, friends…have you done anything differently for Slow Down Week?

Slow Down!

Beware of the anti-muse, she who distracts you and leaves you exhausted in a state of pique.  ~Christopher Richards

This quote made me laugh with recognition, as does Christopher’s site today with the animated cartoon advertising Slow Down Week (who knew this was Slow Down Week?) For me the anti-muse is decidedly busy-ness. Distraction, exhaustion, pique. I’ve never heard more apt adjectives for the effects of busy-ness.

And the antidote to the anti-muse, for me, is mindfulness. Noticing. Curiosity. Being present in my body (hmm, my hands are cold; hmm, my back is tired; hmm, I need to take a deep breath; hmm, something smells wonderful in the kitchen). Stillness. Pausing. Engaging. Being here now.

My best writing practice sessions begin with sensing the world around me and describing that as unconsciously as I can. “DON’T THINK,” is Ray Bradbury’s wise advice for writers. Thinking is the death of creativity, bringing with it judging, censoring, intention, self-consciousness, and abstraction, none of which will engage the reader. 

So, I for one will participate in Slow Down Week for the remainder of this week (as best I can in the midst of overstimulation, hyperactivity, and “noise” of all kinds). How about you?

Editors’ Choice

The worst thing about reading new books is that they keep us from reading the old ones.  ~Joseph Joubert

Just the knowledge that a good book is awaiting one at the end of a long day makes that day happier.  ~Kathleen Norris

I have spent nearly the whole afternoon getting the audio version of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire into iTunes to put on my iPod–17 discs! (Thanks, Kay, for urging me to try Harry Potter.) I listen to a lot of audiobooks these days, what with my 72-mile commute 3 days a week and my frequent traveling around the state.

The Booklist Editors’ Choice was recently released for 2007. Here are the books I have chosen from the Adult Books list to add to my own reading list. See the Booklist site for the annotations.

Einstein: His Life and Universe, by Walter Isaacson
Bridge of Sighs, by Richard Russo
The Gathering, by Anne Enright
The Maytrees, by Annie Dillard
On Chesil Beach, by Ian MacEwan
Strange as This Weather Has Been, by Ann Pancake
A Thousand Splendid Suns, by Khaled Hosseini

Wait! There’s not too much really fun stuff here. How about Can’t Buy Me Love: The Beatles, Britain, and America, by Jonathan Gould? Yes, that goes on my list, too!  Truth be told, there’s not much fun stuff on the editors’ choice list, either. I’m almost finished listening to Alan Alda’s Things I Overheard While Talking to Myself. For a serious guy, he can be pretty funny! The book is basically a compilation of addresses he’s given at various graduations, memorial services, and other occasions. But I have to say it’s better than I expected, and now I want to read Never Have Your Dog Stuffed.

What funny books have you read lately?

Fun

You see, I don’t believe that libraries should be drab places where people sit in silence, and that’s been the main reason for our policy of employing wild animals as librarians.  ~Monty Python 

Having just visited the delightful BookLust site, I am inspired and resolved to have more fun in my blog. Yes, I might actually give you (and myself) a break from my serious pondering, my search for enlightenment, and my “always do right” attitude! Won’t that be refreshing?

So here goes:
There once was a blogger who laughed,
(when she found a new blog that was daft)
“I can make this fun
and I will,” whereupon,
she created a whimsical draft.

Let’s get cracking!  What’s your favorite joke/riddle/pun/funny quotation/silly poem? I mentioned Cautionary Verses in an earlier post. While we’re on the subject of books, here’s a link to Sarah Byng, who could not read and was tossed into a thorny hedge by a bull. Enjoy!

P.S. You can see I just learned to embed links, so of course I had to show off and use 3 of them!  Isn’t learning fun, fun, fun?

Stories

It is our stories that will recreate us, when we are torn, hurt, even destroyed. It is the storyteller, the dream-maker, the myth-maker, that is our phoenix, that represents us at our best, and at our most creative.  ~Doris Lessing

Yesterday I read Doris Lessing’s acceptance speech for her Nobel Prize for Literature, from which this quote is excerpted. Children in Zimbabwe crave books and stories, while we take them for granted at best, and pass them over for the more immediately-stimulating, instantly-gratifying Internet. Lessing tells such a compelling story. You can read it here: http://books.guardian.co.uk/print/0,,331488257-110738,00.html.

Books are companions to the lonely, nourishment for the mind, engaging and satisfying, recreational and life-changing. Charles W. Eliot said, ” Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.”

What are the books that have been transformative in your life?

Sleeplessness

True silence is the rest of the mind, and is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment.  ~William Penn

As I often do these days, it seems, I woke at 3:00 a.m. with a sinus headache. My experience tells me that the only cure is to get up and be vertical for a while. And I actually love the silence of the morning. There is something about silence that is like a warm cloak on a cold day; it feels luxurious, comforting, and calming. I am grateful for silence.

Solitude and silence are grounding, too. Thomas Á Kempis said, “If you wish to grow in your spiritual life, you must not allow yourself to be caught up in the workings of the world; you must find time alone, away from the noise and confusion, away from the allure of power and wealth.” Who among us today knows the joy and value of solitude, of silence? There is something disturbing about the ubiquitous cell phone, and the apparent addiction of so many people to that form of connection. What are all these people talking about? When do they listen to their own hearts?

Later today I will conduct a training session for about 30 public library trustees. Tonight I will visit with two close friends, share stories and laughter, and bask in their loving presence. And all I do today will be more mindful, more effective, more enjoyable for the solitude and silence that have fed me this morning.

Thankfulness

If we meet someone who owes us thanks, we right away remember that. But how often do we meet someone to whom we owe thanks without remembering that?  ~Goethe

If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily.  ~Gerald Good

I have written three thank-you notes today on some lovely handmade note cards I got for 50% off after the holidays. I often wonder how many paper-and-pen thank you notes are written anymore. I’m sure it is far fewer than ever before in my lifetime; the advent of e-mail made it much easier to say thank you without a lot of bother. But even though I don’t always do it when I have the urge to, I love sending thank-you notes for thoughtful gifts, support during a hard time, special favors, or other expressions of generosity.

Yet I know there are many to whom I owe thanks that have never received such a note from me! It is easy to forget how many people help us along our way without our knowledge–or those who assist in ways that seem inconsequential, expected, or even suspect.  Who are the many people you have never thanked who probably deserve your thanks? I think I’ll make a list.

Namaste.

Love

In love, we disappear. We stop the world, we stop being two selves, and become an activity, an open field of sensitivity. The experience of love is as close as most of us get, after childhood’s end, to feeling that we are not bound by our skin, that the circumference of self can be moved or penetrated or dissolved in union with another…The word “desire” comes from de-sidere, “away from your star.” It means elongation from the source and the concomitant, powerful magnetic pull to get back to the source.  ~Stephen Nachmanovitch, Free Play

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; while loving someone deeply gives you courage.  ~Lao Tzu

What an interesting Lao Tzu quote! I think of courage as coming before (being required for) loving, though I don’t doubt that loving strengthens our courage muscles. Those of us who know what it means to be deeply loved are (I believe) immensely fortunate and stronger from it.

What grace love is. It’s not about you, or me, or even us, but about something beyond, what Nachmanovitch calls an activity, what some call creativity or encounter.

I like the image of the magnetic pull to return to one’s star, but I suppose the Buddhists would say we have never been separate from it, that we have only thought ourselves separate.

What is love to you?